


So Let’s Say Hypothetically That I Did Something

by wannahearitinspanish



Series: The Text-ventures [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, But they don't acknowledge it, Crack, Crack Fic, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit, The pack are all in college, and stuck in quarantine, dereks eyebrows have its own language, what happens when im bored
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:15:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25140721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannahearitinspanish/pseuds/wannahearitinspanish
Summary: Stiles did something.Derek answers his pleads (texts) for help.Crack ensues.(or, a look into Derek and Stiles text messages).
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: The Text-ventures [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821898
Comments: 8
Kudos: 230





	So Let’s Say Hypothetically That I Did Something

**Author's Note:**

> *DJ Khalid Voice*
> 
> ANOTHA ONE.

**11:46 pm** [Stiles] so let’s say hypothetically that I did something 

**11:46 pm** [Sourwolf] Stiles.   
**11:46 pm** [Sourwolf] What did you do this time. 

**11:46 pm** [Stiles] i said hypothetically! 

**11:47 pm** [Sourwolf] Stiles. 

**11:47 pm** [Stiles] it’s a hypothetical situation! 

**11:47 pm** [Sourwolf] _Stiles_. 

**11:47 pm** [Stiles] how  
 **11:47 pm** [Stiles] how did you even italicise that? 

**11:47 pm** [Sourwolf] Just answer the damn question. 

**11:48 pm** [Stiles] ok so   
**11:48 pm** [Stiles] (completely hypothetically!!!!!)   
**11:48 pm** [Stiles] let's say i went against your, uh, advice

 **11:48 pm** [Sourwolf] I swear to God. 

**11:48 pm** [Stiles] hey no getting mad at a hypothetical situation!!!   
**11:48 pm** [Stiles] its hypothetical!!! 

**11:49 pm** [Sourwolf] Can you shut up and tell me what happened. 

**11:49 pm** [Stiles] ok as i was saying  
 **11:49 pm** [Stiles] before i was so rudely interrupted  
 **11:49 pm** [Stiles] lets say i went against your advice  
 **11:50 pm** [Stiles] and didnt take the jeep to the garage  
 **11:50 pm** [Stiles] before i started my wonderful journey back

 **11:53 pm** [Sourwolf] Where are you. 

**11:53 pm** [Stiles] wow you really have a problem with the lack of punctuation eh?   
**11:53 pm** [Stiles] also you really don’t have to put a period at the end of every text you know 

**11:55 pm** [Sourwolf] Do you want me to pick you up or should I leave you stranded wherever you are?

 **11:55 pm** [Stiles] aha so you do know about other punctuation marks!   
**11:55 pm** [Stiles] and now now lets not get hasty here  
 **11:55 pm** [Stiles] would you really risk losing your favourite pack member??

 **11:55 pm** [Sourwolf] A risk I’m willing to take.   
**11:55 pm** [Sourwolf] Also, that’s Boyd. 

**11:55 pm** [Stiles] wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow   
**11:55 pm** [Stiles] et tu, brute?   
**11:56 pm** [Stiles] you cant see me but im wounded  
 **11:56 pm** [Stiles] also, i’ll let Erica know you said that

 **11:56 pm** [Sourwolf] …   
**11:56 pm** [Sourwolf] and Erica. 

**11:56 pm** [Stiles] HAH you’re sooo scared of a teenage girl half your size

 **11:56 pm** [Sourwolf] Are you saying you’re not? 

**11:58 pm** [Stiles] oh i so am  
 **11:58 pm** [Stiles] I’m scared of every teenage girl in our pack   
**11:58 pm** [Stiles] but im also not the 200 pound muscled Alpha so

 **12:00 am** [Sourwolf] I can still turn this car around, you know. 

**12:01 am** [Stiles] do you even know where youre going?

 **12:02 am** [Sourwolf] Yes. 

**12:02 am** [Stiles] how?

 **12:03 am** [Sourwolf] I just know. 

**12:04 am** [Stiles] ….  
 **12:04 am** [Stiles] like that's not creepy.   
**12:04 am** [Stiles] we really need to work on your social skills, sourwolf 

**12:06 am** [Sourwolf] Stiles. 

**12:06 am** [Stiles] okokok shutting up now jheez.   
**12:06 am** [Stiles] i hate how i can almost hear you say it   
**12:06 am** [Stiles] and i could picture your eyebrows’ angle too 

**12:07 am** [Sourwolf] My _what_. 

**12:07 am** [Stiles] eyebrow angle!   
**12:07 am** [Stiles] you know the certain degree your eyebrows go   
**12:07 am** [Stiles] when you say my name all exasperated like   
**12:08 am** [Stiles] its completely different from your angry brows  
 **12:08 am** [Stiles] or your ‘im amused’ brows 

**12:10 am** [Sourwolf] My what. 

**12:11 am** [Stiles] did nobody tell you?  
 **12:11 am** [Stiles] your betas? 

**12:12 am** [Sourwolf] Tell me what. 

**12:12 am** [Stiles] your brows have their own language, dude. 

**12:12 am** [Sourwolf] What?  
 **12:12 am** [Sourwolf] They do not.   
**12:12 am** [Sourwolf] Also don’t call me dude. 

**12:14 am** [Stiles] (ಠ_ಠ)   
**12:14 am** [Stiles] ^ you and your eyebrows 

**12:14 am** [Sourwolf] Seriously, what’s wrong with you? 

**12:14 am** [Stiles] i may be a little terrified   
**12:15 am** [Stiles] because its currently pitch black  
 **12:15 am** [Stiles] and i cant see anything   
**12:16 am** [Stiles] and ive had my own fair share amount of rodeos   
**12:16 am** [Stiles] to know that this usually doesnt end well for the token human

 **12:18 am** [Sourwolf] Shut up, you’ll be fine.   
**12:19 am** [Sourwolf] You’re near the border right?   
**12:19 am** [Sourwolf] By the woods.   
**12:20 am** [Sourwolf] I’m 5 minutes away. 

**12:21 am** [Stiles] hey did you ever notice how much trees there are 

**12:22 am** [Sourwolf] _What_.   
**12:22 am** [Sourwolf] What do you mean? 

**12:23 am** [Stiles] I mean why the hell is Beacon Hills surrounded by the fucking woods   
**12:23 am** [Stiles] no wonder we get so much shit happening here  
 **12:23 am** [Stiles] it literally calls for the supernatural !! 

**12:24 am** [Sourwolf] Are you having a crisis? 

**12:25 am** [Stiles] i hear so much   
**12:25 am** [Stiles] i am honestly this close to shitting my pants here !!   
**12:26 am** [Stiles] i always said i would !  
 **12:26 am** [Stiles] but i never did !  
 **12:26 am** [Stiles] maybe this will be my moment!  
 **12:26 am** [Stiles] the mark of the first time I soiled my freaking pants since this all started sophomore year !!  
 **12:27 am** [Stiles] itll be both a monumental moment and a shameful one 

**12:29 am** [Sourwolf] Well sorry to disappoint your moment but I’m here. 

**12:30 am** [Stiles] oh thank the fucking lord  
 **12:30 am** [Stiles] i see you   
**12:30 am** [Stiles] coming your way! 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah I don't know where this came from, but here it is! the thing no one asked for lol


End file.
